When the Stars Lead to You Read online

  Damn. The look in his eyes punched me right in the gut. Contrite. Nervous. Vulnerable.

  I swallowed. Hard. “So why did it?”

  He stood there, mouth opening and closing, face flushed. How sad was it that a tiny part of me felt sorry for him?

  “I have so much to tell you,” he finally said.

  “There you are.” Blair popped up beside me. “It’s mani-pedi time. Are you ready?”

  I blinked while the world came back into focus. “Huh?”

  She threw Ashton a hard glance, then turned back to me. “We need to go.”

  “Oh, right.”

  She looked Ashton up and down like he was vermin.

  “I’m Ashton Edwards,” he said, his expression now neutral. He reached his hand out to her. “You’re in my Photography class.”

  She reluctantly shook his hand. “That’s right. Blair Montgomery.”

  “Nice to officially meet you.”

  “We used to go to the lower school together,” she said.

  He raised his eyebrows. “Sorry. I feel terrible that I don’t remember.”

  “I don’t expect you to. It was a long time ago.” She turned back to me. “We have fifteen minutes to make our appointment.”

  “Dev?” Ashton’s voice shook slightly. “Can we talk soon? Please?”

  I stiffened, then nodded slightly.

  To give Blair credit, she kept her mouth shut until we got to her car. But once the doors slammed, all bets were off. “Are you effing kidding me?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “You should see your face. You’re all… pink and glowy,” she said, her own face flushed. “This is bad, Devon.”

  “I’m not glowy. I’m mad.”

  “Good. You should be.” Blair’s voice softened. “Remember how screwed up you were last year?”

  Last year. It took everything in me to hold back a snort. There was no past tense about this. My feelings were happening now and I didn’t even know what the hell my feelings were and seriously screw him for coming back here and—

  Blair huffed. “I swear, I’m going to throat punch him. Twice. Once for hurting you. Once for getting you all flustered. Once for being so damned gorgeous.”

  “That’s three times.”

  Her eyes flashed. “You’re missing my point, Devvy. There was obviously something way deeper than a fling between you two.”

  “He was my best friend that summer.” I looked down at my shaking hands. “He was amazing.”

  “Not that amazing, if he just up and left you. What did he want, anyway?”

  “To apologize.”

  “Good,” she said again. “You should make him grovel. Beg, even. I want him on his fucking knees.”

  “Blair. This morning. He freaked out about my necklace.”

  She froze mid-cussword. “Necklace?”

  I pulled out my key pendant. “This.”

  She yanked the pendant closer to her. “Why would he freak out over your necklace?”

  “He gave it to me.”

  She stared at me. “He gave you a Tiffany necklace after dating you for what? Two months? Are you serious right now?”

  “One. He gave it to me on the anniversary of our first date. Monthversary. Whatever. And how did you know it was Tiffany?”

  She stared harder. “Devon. Did you forget who I am? I know jewelry. He spent at least two hundred dollars on that thing. After being with you for a month. No guy does that. It’s not normal. It’s almost kind of creepy.”

  “It wasn’t creepy. It was sweet.”

  “Except for the part where he abandoned you.” She frowned. “I thought your parents gave you that necklace.”

  “Nope.”

  “You need to get an explanation out of him, and it better be good or he’s going to be sorry he even showed his face here.”

  Blair started the car. Eerie violins and haunting brass filled my ears and made me squirm. Beethoven: Symphony no. 7 in A Major, Op. 92: II. Allegretto. This composition always felt like a chastisement.

  “This is bad news,” she said. “I don’t know how I feel about him weaseling his way back into your life. I saw how you were looking at him. Like you wanted to slap him and then throw him down and have your way with him. Devvy, you need to be careful.”

  But would I be careful? That was the million-dollar question.

  At the red light, she studied me closely. “Do you think he still wants you?”

  I stared at the light, willing it to turn green. I knew what I wanted the answer to be.

  “Devon? Do you want him to still want you?”

  I didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”

  “You’re kind of a train wreck.”

  “You think?”

  She tilted her head in that thoughtful way. “Here’s the thing. You’re going to do what you want. But I sure as hell don’t trust him.”

  I nibbled my nails, which I only did in supreme hot-mess mode.

  This was not good.

  Ashton was distracting me way too much. Look how quickly he’d managed to make me forget about scholarships and McCafferty and school. Look how I was sitting here right now trying to analyze him when I needed to just stop. But I couldn’t stop. Memories from that summer rushed back like comets. Him and me, walking along the boardwalk, holding hands and sharing our hopes and dreams and fears. Sitting in the surf together, laughing while the waves knocked us around. Kissing deeply under the stars. I’d known his every heartbeat, his every breath, and I’d wanted it all. I’d wanted all of him… and I’d wanted him forever.

  “I know,” I said. “But—”

  “The heart wants what it wants.”

  “Exactly.”

  “And judging by the way you were looking at him, other body parts, too,” she muttered.

  And now we were back to that dream.

  That dream.

  It wasn’t even based in reality. Ashton and I came close, but we never “sealed the deal.” I’d flip-flopped between being glad about it and regretting that I didn’t take the chance, but now I knew it was for the best we hadn’t. Because it was a summer fling, right? But silly me had thought this was different. I’d thought we were different. But nope. And ever since, I’d been stuck with an emptiness in my heart that I hadn’t been able to fill.

  Sleeping with him now would not fix it.

  Telling myself that was one thing. Believing it was quite another.

  “Devon?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Promise me you’ll be careful. Okay?”

  How could I promise that to her when I couldn’t even promise it to myself?

  Chapter 8

  “HOURS FOR YOUR COMMUNITY SERVICE PROJECTS NEED TO be turned in by October 2,” Professor Trask reminded us in Advisory. “That’s three weeks. Some of you,” he said, glancing around the classroom, “have your work cut out.”

  Cue the moaning and groaning. Most of my classmates would rather write a check than set foot in a disadvantaged neighborhood or spend time with sick kids or old people. But that didn’t matter. If you wanted to graduate from Preston Academy, you had to clock forty hours of actual community service.

  “Sign-up sheets are on my desk,” Professor Trask continued, “but you need to hurry. Top choices are going fast.”

  I’d already done most of my hours, so my mind was a million miles away, at Ashton’s locker, which had stayed shut all morning. It was only the third day of school, during a short week, and he was already skipping?

  Blair’s tormented groan ripped me out of my reverie. Alarmed, I whipped around and stared at her. How had I missed how pinched her forehead was? “What’s wrong?”

  “I really don’t have time for this,” she groaned. “The Harvest Ball is in three weeks. Three. I need to be focusing on that, not community service. Devon, if this dance isn’t the best that Preston’s ever had, I’ll die.” She buried her head in her hands and whimpered. Then her head snapped up. “I need copious amounts of caffeine,
and I need uppers.”

  My mouth dropped. “Uppers? What the hell, Blair?”

  “I’m kidding, Devon.”

  But the thing is, I wasn’t sure she actually was kidding.

  She flipped open her bullet journal. The page was completely black, a million to-dos checked off and a million more that weren’t. “This sucks big hairy banana balls. What are you doing tonight? I need to buy an espresso machine. Wanna come with me?”

  “I’ve got a field trip to the planetarium with my Astronomy class. We’re going to study Cassiopeia.”

  She stared at me. “Who?”

  “It’s an asterism.”

  “A what?”

  “So, okay. I know you’ve heard of constellations?”

  She shrugged. “Sure. Big Dipper, Orion’s belt. All that jazz.”

  “Except not. Most people think the stars are what make up the constellation, but a constellation is a specific area of the celestial sphere. An asterism is a shape of stars that make up the patterns you’re used to seeing. So the Big Dipper asterism is part of the constellation Ursa Major, which means Big Bear.”

  “You’re making my eyes glaze over, Devvy,” she said with affection. Then she stared at her planner again, her face crumpling.

  I grabbed her hands. “Blair. You got this. I promise.”

  “If you two are done with your lovefest,” Professor Trask’s voice floated over to us, “the bell rang two minutes ago. You should get a move on.”

  I gave Blair’s hand one more squeeze before heading to Multicultural Literature.

  Happy Paws was the only no-kill animal shelter in town. Since it was funded entirely by grants and donations, volunteers were essential. I was excited to finish my community service requirement here.

  I stepped into the bright, airy lobby with its picture windows, dark bookcases filled with white binders, and large reception desk. A couple sat on a sleek black couch and filled out paperwork on a square coffee table. The animals were separated by glass doors, Doggie Town to my left and Kitty City to my right.

  “Good morning!” A petite, goth-looking girl bounced up to me. “Are you one of our Preston helpers?”

  “Yes. I’m Devon.”

  “Angelica, volunteer coordinator. I’m so glad you’re here.” She pumped my hand aggressively. Holy cow. Way too perky for a Saturday morning.

  She gestured to the reception desk. “You can sign in over there. I was thinking I’d put you in with the dogs.”

  “Whatever you need.” I printed my name, then scribbled my signature on the sheet.

  Angelica checked her clipboard. “Looks like there’s only one more student volunteer coming in today. He’s been here before, so we won’t wait for him.” She led me into a small office and thrust a stack of papers at me. “Go ahead and fill these out, then I’ll show you around.”

  “Thanks.” I looked over the forms. Official Preston letterheads. A medical release. A sheet for filling out my hours. An evaluation form. By far the most intense onboarding of any volunteer hours I’d done.

  “Hey, Angelica.”

  I dropped my pen. Oh God, no. Not him.

  “Good morning, Ashton! I’m glad you’re here! There’s one other volunteer, and I was thinking I’d pair you up. You might already know her.”

  I wasn’t ready for this. An entire day with him?

  Deep breaths. I had this. By the time Angelica brought Ashton into the room, I’d managed to compose myself. Calm, cool, and collected! That was me!

  “Dev!” His face lit up. “I didn’t know you were volunteering here.”

  “Service requirement,” I reminded him.

  “This is a great place to do it,” he said. “I’m going to keep volunteering when my forty hours are done.” He hung up his jacket. “Be right back. I need to wash my hands.”

  I stared at him as he left the room. He looked gorgeous in his dark jeans and light-blue T-shirt.

  Damned gorgeous.

  My heart fluttered like hummingbird wings. A billion beats per minute.

  Inhale… two… three… four.

  Exhale… two… three… four.

  Get a grip, Devon.

  Now.

  Angelica tossed me a peach-colored apron and walked me to Doggie Town. Seven dogs charged, barking and jumping, until Angelica whistled, making them stop in their tracks. I shrieked when a tiny brown Chihuahua skidded into my leg. He sat there, stunned, then sniffed my shoes and ran off again.

  Ashton was already in the room, nuzzling a medium-size black-and-white mutt. “You’re such a good boy,” he cooed, stroking the dog’s broad head. Then he looked up at me. “This is Buddy. Isn’t he incredible?”

  Cautiously, I knelt down beside the dog. “He’s what they call special needs,” Ashton continued. “See how he doesn’t have a right eye?”

  I touched Buddy’s nose and a pink tongue came out to lick my fingertips.

  “No one knows what happened to him. They say he’s been here forever.” Ashton scratched Buddy’s ears. “He’s awesome.”

  Why is he talking to me like everything is good between us?

  The tips of Ashton’s ears were bright red. They only did that whenever he was nervous and uneasy. Maybe I’m a terrible person, but seeing him a bit aflutter made me feel a lot better.

  And Buddy really was awesome.

  Ashton was nuzzling Buddy again, and Buddy seemed as if he were in heaven, his tail thumping against the floor.

  Lucky, lucky Buddy.

  Yeah… this wasn’t going to work. I jumped up and started gathering squeaky toys and slobbery plush animals.

  “Time for breakfast!” Angelica called. “Ashton, can you handle? I’ve got to submit this paperwork now or the director will have my head.”

  “I got this. Come on, Dev. Let me show you how to feed these rascals.”

  Dev. He kept calling me by that nickname. I could even hear the affection in his voice, the same lilt from that summer. It made me want to melt.

  Or smack him. I wasn’t sure yet.

  Once the pooches were happily munching, Ashton and I finished picking up dog toys and cleaning. There was a lot of work to do, but that was a good thing. I could focus on tasks instead of my emotional turmoil.

  After lunch we had cleaning duty again. Washing toys and shaking out bedding. Sweeping up kibble and mopping up pee. Keeping myself busy so I could avoid Ashton and those deep brown eyes.

  He did the exact opposite. He’d look right at me, almost as if he were daring me to keep staying away from him. Then he’d look off into the distance, his face troubled. He’d freeze in place, only moving when one of the dogs jumped onto his lap, snapping him out of his reverie. Then he’d brighten, burying his face in fluffy canine fur.

  His mood swings were super confusing.

  Every bone in my body ached by the time the dogs went for their afternoon walk. I wanted tea, I needed a nap, and instead I got Ashton poking his head around the corner and grinning at me.

  “You look like you could use a break,” he announced. “Come with me.”

  I took one step, then hesitated. “Where?”

  “Trust me.”

  “Why?”

  He blinked those eyes, turning on the charm full blast. “Please?”

  Dammit.

  “Lie down and close your eyes,” he said once we came to a bright room in the far corner of Doggie Town.

  “Excuse me?”

  “Trust me,” he said again.

  I actually lay down on the floor. But because I was very tired, of course.

  As long as I kept telling myself that, it would eventually come true.

  “The key is to give in.” Ashton’s voice came from above me. “Surrender to what’s about to happen.”

  What the hell had I gotten myself into? “Which is what, exactly?”

  “Shh.” And suddenly I was buried in a whirlwind of little paws and wet noses and puppy breath. I shrieked and opened my eyes, and there was Ashton on the floor beside me,
a look of utter happiness on his face as the puppies jumped from me to him, their tiny barks echoing all over Doggie Town.

  “Oh my God,” I said, not even trying to hold back my laughter. “Where’d they come from?”

  “Their foster just dropped them off. This is the intake room.”

  I scratched the tiny black puppy nipping at my nose. “Best energy boost ever.”

  Ashton gave me a heart-melting grin. My hands trembled with the effort of trying to resist it. To resist him. But damn, if this boy wasn’t an abyss.

  I turned away and focused on the puppy, who had settled onto my stomach with a plop and a sigh.

  But I was still so aware of Ashton lying there. What was he thinking? Feeling?

  I turned to face him, and he was looking at me, a gentle smile playing around his lips. One that mirrored the pure joy in his eyes. Was he so happy because being buried in puppies was the best thing ever, or was it because he was here with me? Did it even matter?

  God, this was so hard.

  “These little cuties are all cleared for adoption.” Angelica’s perky voice broke the spell. “I need you to bring them to Puppy Palace. Everything’s all set for them, but I want you two to get them settled in their new home.”

  “How do we do that?” I asked.

  She grinned. “Easy. Play with them!”

  Ashton saluted her, hopped up, and started gathering the squirming, yapping puppies. “Best day ever.”

  Angelica shook her head and left the room.

  “Duty calls,” Ashton said to me.

  And it kept calling for the next three hours. Puppy Palace was huge, with floor-to-ceiling windows that let in streaming sunlight. There were fluffy doggie beds and rubbery balls and bowls of food and water. And toys. So many toys for them to absolutely destroy.

  I couldn’t keep ahead of them. I’d pick up all the toys, and the puppies would immediately have them all over the place. Rubber strips and ripped-up stuffed animals and random squeakers covered the floor. On top of that, not all the puppies were potty trained, so the mopping was never-ending. There was no way I could take control, and I was this close to full-on give-me-all-the-junk-food meltdown mode.

  But then the biggest puppy, a golden cutie named Darby, totally obliterated a stuffed mouse and left the carnage in a puddle of pee.